Are you looking for advice for new pastors’ wives to help you understand your role and thrive?
Becoming a pastor’s wife is a rewarding but often challenging journey. You’re not just stepping into the role of a wife but also taking on a unique position within your congregation.
I wish someone had shared these invaluable insights with me before I started, so I’m here to pass on the lessons I’ve learned from being a pastor’s wife.
Here are 25 great tips for pastors’ wives from a fellow pastor’s wife.
1. Prioritize Your Marriage
As a pastor’s wife, you need to ensure your marriage remains your top priority. Enjoy regular date nights with your husband, and take time to communicate openly about the things happening in your relationship.
A strong marital foundation will help you navigate the challenges of ministry together.
2. Build Your Personal Relationship with God
Your faith journey as a pastor’s wife is incredibly important. In addition to the role of supporting your husband, build your own connection with God. Pray and read the Bible regularly to deepen your faith.
Your personal relationship with God will provide strength and guidance.
3. Be Flexible
Ministry life can be unpredictable. Sometimes as a pastor’s wife we need to be flexible and ready for unexpected changes.
Adaptability is going to be your friend in this journey you’re on.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Know your boundaries, both in ministry and your personal life. Just because you’re married to the pastor doesn’t mean that your entire life should be on display or that you should be at church twenty-four-seven.
Learn to say no when necessary to prevent over-committing yourself and burnout.
5. Be Authentic
Don’t feel pressured to be someone you’re not just because you are married to the pastor. Be yourself. You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not.
Your unique qualities as a pastor’s wife are a gift to your church community.
6. Take Care of Yourself
Don’t forget self-care. It’s essential to maintain your well-being.
Spend time doing things you love and make self-care a regular part of your life. If you’re looking for 50 simple self care ideas, be sure to read our Simple Self Care Guide to get started!
7. Lean on Your Support System
Build relationships with other pastors’ wives. They understand your journey and can offer advice, friendship, and a sense of belonging.
8. Encourage Your Husband
Your husband needs your support and encouragement because he has a lot of responsibilities. Be his biggest cheerleader and offer a listening ear whenever he needs it.
9. Create a Personal Ministry
Find your own ministry niche. Figure out your passions and talents. Use them to serve your church community in a way that honors God and your husband.
10. Be Patient with Expectations
People may have high expectations of you as a pastor’s wife and not all of them are realistic. Remember that you’re human, and not everyone’s ideals are achievable.
You will have some struggles as a pastor’s wife, but be patient with others and yourself. Instead of focusing on what you’re not doing, focus on the progress you’re making.
11. Learn to Say No
You can’t do everything, and that’s okay. If you say yes to everything and anything then you’re not actually putting your best foot forward because you’ll have too much on your plate.
Sometimes, saying no is the best choice to maintain balance in your ministry life.
Just because you’re married to the pastor doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have good work life balance in ministry.
Be sure to read How To Have Good Work Life Balance In Ministry for more info!
12. Communicate Openly with Your Husband
Open, honest and effective communication is the key to a strong, happy marriage. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with your husband to strengthen your partnership.
13. Prepare for Criticism
Not everyone will agree with your husband’s decisions as a pastor and that’s perfectly okay. Prepare yourself for criticism from members who may disagree, but don’t let it deter you from your mission as the first lady of the church.
If you need help handling criticism biblically, be sure to read How To Handle Criticism Biblically As A Pastor’s Wife!
14. Be a Role Model
Remember that as a pastor’s wife, you are a role model to many in the congregation. Lead by example through your actions, kindness, and grace.
15. Find Joy in the Journey
Celebrate the small victories and find joy in the journey. It’s not just about the destination; it’s about the process and all the things that God is able to do through you and your husband along the way.
16. Serve with Humility
Approach your role as a ministry wife with humility and a servant’s heart. Ministry is about selfless service to others and not about having authority over others.
17. Celebrate Small Wins
Another great piece of advice is to notice and cheer for the little wins in what you do.
Whether it’s pulling off a church event or handling a busy week well, acknowledging these small successes boosts your confidence as a pastor’s wife, and helps you stay positive.
18. Treasure Your Quiet Moments
In the midst of a busy life, find time for quiet moments to reflect and rejuvenate yourself. Use these quiet moments to speak with God, light a candle or simply relax in peace.
19. Be a Good Listener
One of the blessings of being a pastor’s wife is the ability to be a confidant for many.
That’s why you should practice actively listening when others need someone to talk to. Your caring ear can be a source of great comfort to those who have noone else to talk to.
20. Embrace Differences
Your congregation is diverse, and not everyone will think like you or come from the same background as you do.
Embrace these differences and celebrate the rich diversity that make your church and community unique.
21. Be Grateful
Practicing gratitude daily is one of the best pieces of advice for pastors’ wives to follow. Count your blessings and express your thanks for all that God has done, is doing and will do in your life, marriage and ministry.
22. Encourage the Discouraged
You have the power to lift spirits and inspire hope in those who need you. Encourage those who feel disheartened and offer words of encouragement to others in your community.
23. Strengthen Your Marriage Through Prayer
Pray together with your husband to strengthen your marriage.
Seek God’s guidance for your life together and ask him to give you the love, patience and determination to work through any challenges that may come your way.
24. Remember Your Calling
God has called you to this role and He is guiding you every step of the way. God has uniquely gifted you and you should use the gifts He’s given you to grow His kingdom.
Trust in His plan and purpose, and remember that you are not alone in this journey.
25. Keep The Faith
Through the highs and lows, maintain your faith. Even on the most challenging days, keep the faith.
Your strong belief will guide you through the joys and challenges of being a pastor’s wife.
If you’re looking for simple, effective ways to build your faith, be sure to read: 10 Incredible Ways To Grow In Faith Today
Embrace Your New Life
Ministry life is an incredible journey that requires faith, patience, and a heart full of love. I pray these pieces of advice for pastors’ wives just starting out will help you adjust and better embrace the role of a pastor’s wife.
You are not alone and I’m right here to help you along the way.
Lean on your faith, and your support system. Know that you are making a good impact on your church community whether you can see it or not.
Embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and trust in the path that God has set before you. Your role as a pastor’s wife is a beautiful and fulfilling calling.
I pray these pro tips help you to fully enjoy your calling!
All my love,
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