Want to know how to overcome the challenges parents face today, especially in ministry? You’re in the right place!
I’ll never forget the phone call from my friend Kayla, a fellow ministry wife and mum of three.
She had just come home from church, tossed her handbag on the kitchen counter, and sat in silence while her kids argued in the background and her husband fielded yet another late-night call.
“I feel like I’m raising these kids alone,” she whispered, trying not to cry. “I’m juggling school runs, Sunday School prep, and I can’t remember the last time we had a peaceful dinner as a family.”
It hit me hard—because even though it wasn’t my story, it easily could’ve been.
Being a parent is already a full-time job. But being a ministry parent? That comes with a whole new set of pressures—ones that no one really warns you about.
In this post, we’re going to talk about 5 common challenges ministry parents face today and some practical, grace-filled ways to navigate them. Whether you’re deep in the thick of it or just need a little encouragement, you’re not alone—and there is a way forward.
Why Is Parenting Difficult for Parents in Ministry?
I’ve seen it over and over again—in my friend Kayla, in the women I serve, and even in conversations at church potlucks. Ministry parents are often carrying invisible loads that most people don’t see. And that’s what makes parenting in ministry uniquely challenging.
It’s not just about the day-to-day responsibilities of raising children, it’s about raising children while also carrying the emotional, spiritual, and time-heavy burdens of serving others.
As a pastor’s wife or woman in ministry, you’re not just Mum. You’re often the Sunday School organiser, the emergency prayer warrior, the meal planner for bereaved families, and the last-minute fill-in for someone who didn’t show up to serve.
The pressure is constant. The expectations are high. And the margin for error feels almost non-existent.
Unlike other parents, ministry parents are parenting in a fishbowl. They are being watched, observed, and sometimes quietly judged by the very community they serve. And that doesn’t even include the guilt that creeps in when ministry seems to get the best of you, while your kids are left with your leftovers.
Here’s the truth: Parenting is hard. But parenting while navigating the demands of ministry can feel downright overwhelming.
But you’re not alone. The challenges you’re facing are real, and they’re not because you’re doing something wrong. They’re a natural part of this unique and sacred calling.
And with grace, support, and a few honest conversations, they can be navigated.
Challenge #1: Feeling Guilty for Splitting Time Between Ministry and Family
Something that sticks with me is what Kayla once told me during one of our late-night voice notes:
“Some days, I feel like I’m failing at everything—church, marriage, parenting. Like I’m never fully present anywhere. When I’m with the kids, I’m thinking about Sunday’s event. When I’m at church, I’m worrying about homework and dinner.“
Sound familiar?
This is one of the most common challenges ministry parents face today. The guilt. The tug-of-war between your calling and your kids.
The constant question in the back of your mind: Am I choosing the right thing?
It’s exhausting. And it can slowly chip away at your peace, your confidence, and your joy.
How to Overcome It: Be Present Where Your Feet Are
Here’s something that changed the game for Kayla—and for me too: Give yourself permission to be fully present where God has you in the moment. If you’re with your kids, give them your undivided attention.
And if you’re at a ministry event, release the guilt and serve joyfully, knowing your children are learning about commitment and obedience by watching you.
And when you mess up, and you will, extend grace to yourself. Even Jesus took time to step away from the crowds (Luke 5:16). If the Saviour of the world knew the importance of rest and balance, so can we.
Try this:
Create “sacred family hours.” Block off one or two windows during the week that are completely off-limits for ministry.
Talk openly with your spouse and kids about what’s going on. You’ll be surprised how understanding and supportive they can be when they’re in the loop.
Pray this simple prayer often: “Lord, help me be fully present today. Wherever You’ve placed me, let me serve with a whole heart.”
Challenge #2: Unrealistic Expectations from Others (and Yourself)
Kayla once shared a moment that still sticks with me.
She had just come from a long day of ministry work, her toddler had thrown three tantrums that morning, and she still hadn’t made dinner. As she walked into church for midweek service, someone greeted her with a cheerful, “You always make it look so easy!”
She smiled politely, but inside, she felt like crumbling.
This is one of the most common challenges parents face for those in ministry—the pressure to be everything to everyone. Perfect wife. Perfect mum. Perfect church leader.
And often, it’s not just expectations from others—it’s the ones we quietly put on ourselves.
You feel like you’re supposed to have it all together because of your role. And when you don’t, the shame creeps in.
How to Overcome It: Embrace God’s Grace Over People’s Approval
The truth? You’re not called to be perfect—you’re called to be faithful.
When you stop trying to meet everyone’s expectations and instead lean into God’s grace, something shifts. You begin to parent from a place of peace, not pressure. You’re able to show up in ministry more authentically. You let go of the guilt and grab hold of the grace.
Romans 8:1 reminds us, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” That includes you, tired mama. You don’t have to wear a mask. You don’t have to prove anything.
Here’s what you can try:
Create healthy boundaries. It’s okay to say no to some things—even “good” things—so you can say yes to what truly matters.
Be honest about your struggles. Vulnerability breeds connection. Your transparency could be someone else’s healing.
Regularly ask God: “Am I living to please You or people?” (Galatians 1:10)
When we release the unrealistic and cling to the unchanging, we find freedom. And that freedom? It’s the best gift you can give your kids, your church, and yourself.
RELATED: How To Give Grace To Others When It’s Hard And Painful
Challenge #3: Not Enough Time or Energy
One evening, Kayla and I were texting back and forth.
She had just finished helping her husband prep for Sunday’s message, put the kids to bed, responded to three prayer requests from members, and was trying to wash the dishes before collapsing into bed.
“I’m exhausted, Dae,” she wrote. “I feel like I’m giving everyone my best, and my kids are getting the leftovers.”
Whew. That hit me right in the chest.
This is one of the most common challenges of parenting: the constant tug-of-war between family life and ministry demands. It’s not that you don’t want to be present—you just don’t have much left to give.
Your time is limited. Your energy is stretched. And at the end of the day, your kids often see the most worn-out version of you.
How to Overcome It: Prioritise Presence, Not Perfection
I reminded Kayla of the story in Luke 10:38–42—Martha was busy doing all the things, but Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and chose what mattered most. Ministry parents often operate like Martha out of necessity, but deep down, we all long to be Mary.
Sometimes, the best ministry happens at home… when you pause the busy to truly be with your family.
Here’s what helps:
Schedule your family time like you schedule ministry. Don’t just fit your family in—fight for that time. Guard it.
Set a “cut-off” time. Create a clear boundary for when ministry stops for the day (even if there’s more to do).
Start small. One unrushed meal. One bedtime story. One walk together. Tiny moments matter.
Isaiah 40:29 says, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Ask God for strength to pour into what matters most—your marriage, your kids, your home.
Because your greatest ministry might just be the little hearts you tuck into bed each night.
RELATED: How To Set Healthy Emotional Boundaries In Ministry
Challenge #4: Guilt and Unrealistic Expectations
I’ll never forget when Kayla said, “I feel like I’m always failing someone. If I’m focused on my kids, I feel guilty about ministry. If I’m all in with ministry, I feel like a bad mum. I can’t win.”
And the thing is—she’s not alone.
Many ministry parents feel like they’re constantly coming up short. There’s this invisible pressure to be the “perfect” parent and the ever-available ministry leader. You start comparing yourself to other families, wondering if your kids are missing out because of the life God called you to.
It’s one of the quiet but real challenges parents face today—especially those raising children in the spotlight of ministry.
How to Overcome It: Grace Over Guilt
Romans 8:1 reminds us, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” You are not failing—you’re faithfully doing the best you can. And that matters more than perfection.
Here’s what I reminded Kayla (and sometimes myself):
You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You just need to be obedient to what God is asking you to do right now.
Let go of the pressure to be perfect. Embrace progress over perfection, and ask God to fill in the gaps where you fall short.
Remember: your kids don’t need a flawless parent—they need a present, praying one.
And when guilt creeps in, give yourself the same grace you’d give someone else in your shoes.
Ministry is hard. Parenting is hard. Doing both? Only possible with the daily help of the Holy Spirit.
So, breathe. You’re doing better than you think.
RELATED: How To Overcome The Challenges Of Being A Pastor’s Wife
Challenge #5: Lack of Quality Time Together
One afternoon, Kayla shared something that broke my heart a little.
She said, “Last week, my son asked me if we could have a day where Daddy didn’t answer his phone. It hit me—I thought we were spending time together, but ministry was always interrupting.”
That’s one of the top 10 parenting challenges—being physically present but emotionally unavailable.
For parents in ministry, even our “off” days often involve answering calls, replying to texts, or preparing for the next church event. The line between family life and ministry gets blurry, and sometimes our families pay the price.
How to Overcome It: Protect Sacred Family Time
Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Time is precious, and it’s one of the most loving things we can give to our kids.
Here’s what helped Kayla and might help you too:
Schedule “uninterrupted family time.” Just like you would block off time for a meeting or sermon prep, block off time to just be with your family—phones off, heart present.
Create small but meaningful routines. Maybe it’s pancakes on Saturdays, game night every other Friday, or a quick devotion together before bed. Little moments can become lasting memories.
Set boundaries with love. It’s okay to let your church family know that certain times are reserved for your home. Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re wise stewardship.
Your ministry is important, but your family is your first ministry. And when your kids grow up, they may not remember every sermon you preached or every event you planned, but they’ll remember how it felt to be loved, seen, and prioritised.
RELATED: How To Maintain A Healthy Work Life Balance In Ministry
Final Thoughts
There are many challenges parents face today, especially ministry parents.
If you’re a parent in ministry who feels stretched thin, pulled in all directions, and constantly wondering if you’re getting it right—I want you to know this: you are not alone, and you are not failing.
The challenges that ministry parents face are real and heavy. But so is the grace that carries us through. God sees every late-night prayer, every whispered apology, every sacrifice you’ve made for your family and your calling.
And He’s not asking you to be perfect—He’s inviting you to be present.
Psalm 127:1 reminds us, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain.” You don’t have to hold it all together. You just have to place it in His hands, one day at a time.
So keep showing up. Keep loving your children. Keep honouring your calling.
And when it feels too hard, remember this: God is parenting you while you parent them. He’s equipping you, strengthening you, and cheering you on—even on the days you feel weak.
And if this post spoke to your heart, please don’t keep it to yourself. Share it with another ministry parent who needs a reminder that they’re seen, supported, and so deeply loved.
You’ve got this, friend. And more importantly—God’s got you.
All my love,
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