10 More Simple Ways To Submit To Your Husband

Have you ever wondered how to submit to your husband when everything in you wants to dig your heels in and prove your point?

Just today, I found myself standing in our kitchen. My husband had gotten upset about something I did without thinking about it. His reasoning was sound because we’d both agreed to certain boundaries. But something in me bristled.

My stubborn Jamaican spirit flared up, and I launched into why I absolutely was not wrong in what I did because he, himself, had previously done the same thing.

Twenty minutes later, I watched him stop what he was working on, get dressed and leave the house. He had decided to go for a walk and then head to work early. All the joy and cheerfulness was gone from his eyes.

That’s when it hit me. This wasn’t about this one event. This was about something deeper.

The Real Struggle Behind Submission

I’ll be honest with you, friend. Learning how to submit to your husband when you’re naturally stubborn feels like swimming upstream sometimes. For years, I’ve wrestled with what it means to submit to your husband, especially coming from my background.

Growing up, I never really saw healthy marriage modeled. My parents, bless them, loved each other deeply. But their relationship was more about surviving than thriving. I spent my childhood playing mediator in their arguments. I learned to defend, to fight, to never back down.

My first marriage taught me even more toxic patterns. I learned that love meant walking on eggshells. That disagreement meant warfare. That submission meant disappearing.

So when I married my wonderful Kenyan husband, I brought all that baggage with us. I’d convinced myself our struggles were just cultural differences. But deep down, I knew better. I was carrying wounds that had nothing to do with where we came from.

The thing about submission in marriage is this. It’s not about becoming a doormat. It’s about understanding what is submission in a relationship that honors both God and your spouse. It’s about learning to dance together instead of stepping on each other’s toes.

What Submission Really Means

Before we dive into practical ways, let’s get clear on what does it mean to submit to your husband. Biblical submission isn’t about blind obedience or losing yourself. When we look at examples of submission in the Bible, we see women of strength and wisdom.

The Bible verses on submission to husband paint a picture of partnership. Ephesians 5:22-24 doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s followed immediately by verses calling husbands to love sacrificially. Examples of submission in marriage show us it’s about mutual respect and honor.

Here’s what I’m learning: wives obey your husbands meaning isn’t about becoming silent or invisible. It’s about choosing to honor your husband’s leadership while bringing your full self to the relationship.

So if you’re like me, stubborn, strong-willed, and still learning, these ten simple ways might just change everything.

1. Choose Your Battles Wisely

Here’s something I wish someone had told me years ago: not every hill is worth dying on. When learning how to submit to your husband, wisdom means picking your moments.

Last month, my husband wanted to go somewhere with me. My first instinct? To explain why his idea wasn’t very good. But I caught myself. This wasn’t about our ministry direction or family values. This was just a date.

So I said, “Let’s go.” You know what happened? It was a pretty fun experience. Who knew?

The practice here is simple but profound. Before you respond to your husband’s suggestion, ask yourself: “Is this really important?” If it’s not about core values or major decisions, consider letting him lead. You might be surprised by the results.

2. Lead with Curiosity Instead of Correction

This one’s been a game-changer for me. Instead of immediately jumping in with why something won’t work, I’m slowly  learning to ask questions first.

When my husband suggests an idea that makes me cringe internally, I’ve started saying: “Tell me more about that. Help me understand your thinking.” This simple shift has opened up conversations I never knew we needed.

The beautiful thing about leading with curiosity is that it honors your husband’s heart. It shows you value his thoughts even when you don’t initially agree. Sometimes you’ll discover wisdom you missed.

Sometimes you’ll help him see blind spots gently. Either way, you’re walking together instead of against each other.

3. Affirm His Leadership Before Offering Input

Here’s a practical tip that’s transformed our dinner conversations: affirm first, then contribute. When my husband shares his thoughts about decisions or life choices, I’ve started responding with genuine appreciation before adding my perspective.

“I love how you’ve taken the time to think this through.” comes before “How about this instead?” It’s not manipulation. It’s recognition. Your husband needs to know you see and value his efforts to lead well.

This practice has softened my heart too. When I actively look for ways to affirm his leadership, I start seeing strengths I’d overlooked. My stubborn streak begins to melt when I remember I’m married to a good man trying his best.

4. Practice the Pause

Oh friends, this one requires grace for yourself. When my husband says something that triggers my defensive reflexes, I’m learning to pause. Just breathe. Count to five. Let the initial reaction settle.

In that pause, I ask myself: “What’s really happening here? Am I reacting to him, or to old wounds?” Nine times out of ten, my stubbornness isn’t really about the present moment. It’s about protecting myself from hurts that happened long before he came along.

The pause gives space for wisdom to enter. It allows the Holy Spirit to gentle my spirit. It reminds me that this man isn’t my enemy. He’s my teammate.

5. Express Needs Without Demands

Learning how to submit to your husband doesn’t mean becoming voiceless about your needs. It means learning to express them in ways that invite partnership rather than trigger defense.

Instead of “You never help with the dishes,” try “I’d love some help in the kitchen after dinner. Would you be willing?” Instead of “You’re always on your phone,” consider “I’m feeling disconnected. Could we have some phone-free time together?“

This shift honors both your needs and his autonomy. It creates space for him to respond from love rather than obligation. And honestly, it feels better coming out of your mouth too.

6. Support His Decisions Publicly

Here’s where submission in marriage gets practical: your husband needs to know you’ve got his back, especially in public settings. Even when you’ve disagreed privately, supporting him publicly strengthens your unity.

This doesn’t mean becoming fake or dishonest. It means choosing to highlight his strengths and wisdom when you’re with others. It means saving disagreements for private conversations between you two.

I’ve learned that when I support my husband publicly, it actually makes our private discussions more productive. He’s more open to my input when he knows I’m not going to undermine him in front of others.

7. Ask for His Perspective

Sometimes the most submissive thing you can do is simply ask: “What do you think?” This question honors your husband’s wisdom and invites him into leadership naturally.

Whether it’s about ministry decisions, family choices, or even what movie to watch, asking for his perspective shows you value his input. It creates space for him to lead without you having to follow blindly.

I’ve been amazed at how often my husband has insights I hadn’t considered. His perspective, shaped by his own relationship with God and his love for our family, often brings wisdom I needed to hear.

8. Celebrate His Strengths

Your husband is good at things you’re not. I know that might feel hard to admit if you’re like me and struggle with stubbornness. But celebrating his strengths is a beautiful form of submission.

My husband is incredible with people. He remembers names, asks thoughtful questions, and makes everyone feel valued. For a while, I focused on how differently we approached social situations. Now I celebrate and lean into his gifting.

When you actively celebrate what your husband does well, something shifts in your heart. Your stubbornness begins to soften into admiration. You start seeing partnership opportunities instead of competition.

9. Choose Gratitude Over Grievances

This practice requires daily intention: focus on what your husband does right instead of what he does wrong. When I catch myself building a mental list of his shortcomings, I intentionally shift to gratitude. It doesn’t always work perfectly but I keep trying, nonetheless.

He left the lights on in the bathroom, but he also worked late while working on a few online courses. He forgot to pack his suitcase, but he spent an hour encouraging a struggling church member.

He’s human, not perfect, just like me.

Choosing gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring real issues. It means approaching those conversations from a heart of appreciation rather than criticism.

It changes everything.

10. Pray for His Success

The most powerful way to learn how to submit to your husband? Pray for his success as a leader, husband, and man of God. When you’re genuinely asking God to bless your husband’s efforts, your heart begins to align with his vision.

I pray that God would give him wisdom in his decisions. I pray for his health, his relationship with God, and his confidence as a leader. As I pray these prayers, my stubborn resistance melts into supportive partnership.

Prayer changes your perspective faster than any self-help technique ever could. It reminds you that you’re both on the same team, serving the same God.

Finding Grace in the Journey

Friend, if you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath. Learning what does it mean to submit to your husband is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and hard days. Days when these practices feel natural and days when your stubborn streak wins.

That’s okay. Grace covers our learning process.

The examples of submission in the Bible aren’t there to shame us. They’re there to show us what’s possible when two people choose to honor God and each other. Your marriage can be a beautiful picture of Christ and the church, even if you’re still figuring out the steps.

Remember, you’re not trying to become someone else. You’re learning to be the best version of yourself within your marriage. Your strength, your wisdom, your unique perspective are gifts to your husband, not obstacles to overcome.

Final Thoughts

As I write this, I’m still learning. My husband and I still have moments where my stubbornness meets his frustration. But we’re growing. We’re extending grace to each other and to ourselves.

These ten practices aren’t magic formulas. They’re simple steps toward deeper intimacy and partnership. They’re ways to honor both your calling as a wife and your identity as a daughter of the King.

What would happen if we chose to see submission not as losing ourselves, but as finding the beautiful dance God intended for marriage? What if our stubborn streaks could be transformed into strength that serves love?

I believe that’s exactly what God wants to do in our hearts and homes.

Which of these practices resonates most with your heart today? I’d love to hear about your own journey of learning to submit with strength and grace. Remember, we’re all growing together in this beautiful, messy adventure called marriage.

All my love,

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I appreciate you being here! Happy reading!