How To Trust God When You’re Carrying Everyone Else’s Burden

Have you ever wondered how to trust God when it feels like you’re carrying the weight of your entire church community on your shoulders? I found myself asking this exact question a few years back as I sat on a bench outside the grocery store, completely overwhelmed.

I had just gotten off the phone with Kimberly, a sweet woman from our congregation who was facing a devastating diagnosis. Before that call, I’d spent the morning ironing suits for my husband to wear for the week, the afternoon organizing meals for an upcoming event, and somewhere in between, I’d promised to bake four dozen cookies for an event.

My husband was deep in sermon preparation for Sunday, our laundry needed to get done and I hadn’t even started dinner.

In that quiet moment in the parking lot, tears slipped down my cheeks as I whispered, “Lord, I don’t know how to keep carrying all of this.“

Perhaps you know exactly what I’m talking about.

As ministry wives, we often become the unofficial keepers of congregational burdens. We listen, we pray, we organize, we show up, and somewhere along the way, we can find ourselves drowning under the weight of everyone else’s pain while trying to maintain our own families and faith.

So how do we trust God fully when we’re already stretched thin caring for others? How can we trust God with our own hearts when they’re already filled with the concerns of so many?

Today, I want to share five gentle truths that have anchored me in seasons when ministry life felt overwhelming and my ability to trust in the Lord was tested.

Blog Contents show

Release the Burden of Perfect Empathy

For years, I believed that being a “good” pastor’s wife meant feeling the full weight of everyone’s pain. I thought trusting God meant I should somehow have enough emotional capacity for every heartbreak that walked through our church doors. I was wrong.

Two years ago, an older pastor’s wife named Margaret took my hands after I confessed how overwhelmed I felt by a particularly difficult situation in our church.

“Honey,” she said with gentle wisdom in her eyes, “you weren’t meant to carry what only Jesus can. That’s not trust. That’s taking on a burden He never asked you to bear.“

Learning how to trust God means recognizing that perfect empathy belongs only to Him. We can listen with love and hold space for pain without absorbing every ounce of it. When we try to carry what only Jesus can, we’re actually demonstrating a lack of trust that He’s capable of caring for His people.

What does it mean to trust God in this area?

It means being present without becoming consumed. Learning how to trust God means praying fervently without feeling responsible for the outcome. It means remembering that Jesus loves His church, and each person in it, even more perfectly than we ever could.

When I feel that familiar weight of everyone’s burdens pressing down, I’ve learned to pray: “Lord, I entrust these dear ones to Your perfect care. Show me my role, and help me release what isn’t mine to carry.“

Understanding how to trust God begins with recognizing the difference between compassionate care and overwhelming responsibility. The beauty of surrendering this burden is that it actually frees us to love more genuinely, without the crushing weight of thinking we must somehow carry what only our Savior can bear.

Establish Sacred Boundaries to Protect Your Well

How can I trust God when everyone needs something from me? By remembering that even Jesus withdrew to lonely places to pray.

I hit a wall once.

After three consecutive weeks of crisis counseling, hospital visits, and waiting until late for my husband, I found myself sitting in my doctor’s office being told my blood pressure was concerning. The physician looked at me pointedly and said, “Your body is telling you something. Are you listening?“

I realized I had been operating from a dangerous theology, that availability equals godliness, that constant sacrifice equals faithfulness.

But how do we trust God with our calling if we’re too depleted to hear His voice?

Trusting God in difficult times requires the humility to acknowledge our limitations. It means establishing boundaries that protect our communion with God and connection with our families.

For me, this looked like:

Creating specific office hours when I’m available for church calls/texts
Designating complete technology fasts one day a week
Learning to say “I can’t right now, but I can…” instead of automatically saying yes
Having frank conversations with my husband about what is sustainable
Protecting morning devotional time as non-negotiable

When I first implemented these boundaries, I felt tremendous guilt. How could putting limits on my availability be trusting God fully? Wasn’t I failing people who needed me?

But then something beautiful happened.

Within these sacred boundaries, I found my trust deepening. With margin in my life, I could actually listen for God’s voice rather than reacting constantly to urgent needs. I discovered that learning how to trust God completely often means trusting that His work can continue even when I step back.

Remember: a dry well serves no one. Your boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re stewardship of the vessel God has entrusted to you.

Learning how to trust God includes trusting that He can work through others when you need rest, and that your worth isn’t measured by your constant availability.

Cultivate a Personal Faith Apart From Ministry

One of the most insidious challenges for ministry wives is the blurring between personal faith and professional religion. When Bible studies, prayer meetings, and church gatherings become work rather than worship, our ability to put our trust in God naturally suffers.

I remember sitting in a women’s retreat that I had helped organize, surrounded by beautiful worship, and realizing I couldn’t remember the last time I had encountered God for myself, not as the pastor’s wife, not as a ministry leader, but simply as a beloved daughter.

How do you trust God when your faith has become entwined with your role?

By intentionally cultivating spaces where you’re not responsible for anyone else’s spiritual journey. Learning how to trust God requires nurturing a relationship with Him that exists independently of your ministry duties.

This might mean:

Finding a prayer partner outside your congregation
Attending occasional services at another church where you can simply receive
Reading Scripture without sermon preparation or lesson planning in mind
Pursuing spiritual practices that nourish you personally, even if they differ from your church tradition
Creating a prayer corner in your home that’s just for you and God

For me, the turning point came when I started slipping away to a nearby bookstore once a month. In that quiet space where nobody knew me as “Pastor Kennedy’s wife,” I could bring my unfiltered fears, doubts, and questions.

I could sit in God’s presence without agenda or expectation.

Trusting God means nurturing a relationship with Him that exists independently of your ministry role. It means creating space where your identity as His beloved takes precedence over every other title or responsibility. When we understand how to trust God personally, apart from our public roles, our ministry actually becomes more authentic and sustainable.

Embrace the Ministry of Receiving

We ministry wives are often experts at giving, serving, and supporting, but how often do we practice receiving? Yet learning how to trust in the Lord fundamentally requires open hands not just for giving, but for receiving as well.

In late 2022, I went through an especially dark season of anxiety.

For weeks, I tried to power through, keeping up appearances while crumbling inside. I was still showing up for everyone else, still being the steady support for my husband’s ministry, but internally questioning how to trust God when everything felt so heavy.

When my close friend Jen showed up at my door one afternoon with lunch and gentle determination to talk, I initially resisted. “I’m fine,” I insisted, “just tired.”

“You’ve always been there for me,” she said simply. “Please let me be here for you.“

That afternoon, as I tearfully shared my struggles while she listened without trying to fix anything, I experienced a profound lesson in trusting God. Sometimes God doesn’t remove our burdens. Instead, He sends people to carry them alongside us.

And our unwillingness to receive help can actually be a form of pride rather than faith.

Learning to receive graciously is a spiritual discipline that demonstrates trust. It acknowledges that God’s care often comes through community, and that vulnerability is not weakness but courage.

If you find yourself constantly giving but never receiving, ask yourself: What does it mean to trust God through the love and support of others? How can we trust God if we won’t trust the people He sends to care for us?

Understanding how to trust God includes recognizing His provision through the hands and hearts of our community.

Find Freedom in Imperfect Progress

Perhaps the most beautiful way I’ve learned how to trust God completely is by embracing the reality that trust itself is a journey, not a destination.

In ministry life, we can feel tremendous pressure to have it all together, and to model perfect faith, perfect families, perfect trust. But what if your most powerful ministry comes not from displaying unwavering confidence but from honestly walking the path of growing trust?

Several months ago, I was speaking with a woman from our church who was facing significant health challenges. She asked me how I managed to stay so strong in my faith through difficulties.

I took a deep breath and decided to be honest.

“Sometimes I don’t,” I admitted. “Sometimes I worry and struggle to trust, just like everyone else. But I keep coming back to God with my questions and fears, and He keeps meeting me there.“

To my surprise, tears filled her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I thought I was the only one who sometimes struggled to trust. Knowing you do too, and that God is patient with that, gives me hope.“

Trusting God in difficult times isn’t about never having doubts; it’s about bringing those doubts continually back to Him. It’s about progress, not perfection.

It’s about the beautiful reality that even our struggles to trust can become sacred spaces where God meets us and others.

So dear ministry wife, however you’re feeling today, whether your trust feels rock solid or whisper thin, know that God is gentle with hearts in progress. Your journey of learning how to trust God, with all its ups and downs, is itself a testimony of grace.

A Prayer For When You’re Carrying Too Much

Father, today I bring You these heavy burdens, both mine and those I carry for others. Thank You that You never intended my shoulders to be wide enough for all this weight.

Help me to trust You fully with what feels overwhelming.

Give me wisdom to know what’s mine to carry and courage to release the rest into Your capable hands. Strengthen my faith in this season and help me to bloom where You’ve planted me, rooted in Your love rather than others’ expectations.

Remind me that my calling isn’t to fix everything but to faithfully point to the One who can. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

___

What burden are you carrying today that needs to be released back to God?

I’d love to hear in the comments how you’re learning to trust Him in this season of ministry life. Remember, understanding how to trust God is a lifelong journey of grace, and you’re not walking it alone.

Grace and peace,